Shopping Encounter
by Maralexa
Summary: My first one-shot in which Thor and Loki end up on Midgard. The brothers have been through a lot, but can they survive a shopping trip with Jane Foster?


**Okay, so I know a lot of you are probably getting tired of me at this point. I've done quite a few fanfics but hey, I've seen authors write more than me, so don't judge. XD For those of you who know me, I say hello. For those that don't, I'm Maralexa (well, that's my penname anyway…) and this is my fifth fanfic. My best friend, Jaxberry (also a Fanfiction user), helped me come up with the awesome idea of this short fic. Thus, **_**Shopping Encounter**_** was born. She should get a lot of the credit for it, considering a lot of these ideas were hers. Anyways, I say this in most of my fics, but I'll say it again for those that don't know: I'm the author of **_**Pwning and Gaming**_**, **_**The Portal of Destiny**_**, **_**The Force of Mischief**_**, and **_**Invasion**_**. So, I know a thing or two about the art of Fanfiction writing. Also, I WELCOME REVIEWS! Let me say that on a separate line for emphasis.**

**I WELCOME REVIEWS!**

**Anywho, this is one of my humor fics. I'm pretty well-known for **_**Pwning and Gaming**_**, so I know how you readers love a good comedy! Jaxberry and I consider it somewhat of an Alternate Universe fic since it is post-Avengers. Also, I hope Loki isn't too out of character. This isn't a fully-developed story. Tis a one-shot. So I decided to make tons of time pass so that Loki's bitterness is mostly gone. I'll shut up now and let the story speak for itself.**

* * *

Much time had passed since the day Loki was imprisoned on his own home of Asgard. The terrible crimes he had committed on Midgard were beginning to slowly fade from everyone's memories. The only people that thought of it constantly were Thor, Odin, Frigga, and, of course, Loki himself. There were mixed feelings about his imprisonment. Odin firmly believed that his adopted son should remain where he was, yet there was a tiny twinge that urged him to reconsider. Frigga and Thor had mutual feelings, in which it was time to put the past in the past. They both felt that Loki deserved to be given his rights as a citizen back.

Surprisingly enough, Loki did not share the feelings of his adoptive mother and brother. The bitterness and anger he had felt when he had first been captured by the Avengers had long since faded. Those emotions were now replaced with calm acceptance and quasi-remorse. Though the god of mischief would never fully admit to what he had done wrong, he at least had a sense of regret.

Perhaps these feelings came from Thor's daily visits. Though Loki was bound to silence by the muzzle on his mouth, he was at least given temporary relief whenever the god of thunder came in. It was like a routine. Thor would stroll in and ask the guards to step away so that they could have some private time to talk. He would take the muzzle off of Loki so that they could speak properly. At first, the trickster god did not appreciate his adoptive brother coming at all and wished that he could be left alone. But, after a while, he gradually came to accept it. Though he would not say so aloud, he had actually come to enjoy it.

Today was different, though. Loki paced in anticipation for the arrival of his adoptive brother and wondered what was taking so long. Usually, he would come in in the early afternoon. Why wasn't he here this time? The cell that contained him suddenly seemed so small and the time seemed to pass so slowly that the inevitable happened. Loki Laufeyson was bored.

The boredom lasted all the way into the night. Perhaps Thor had gone off somewhere and was unable to get back in time to see him, Loki figured. Maybe he was with Jane again, or he had just forgotten. Either way, he was too tired to care at the moment.

As soon as he closed his eyes, a voice interrupted his thoughts. "Brother!" Loki's eyes opened. Though he could not smile, his eyes brightened at the sight of Thor. His eyebrows rose when he noticed a new sense of purpose in the god of thunder, as if there was something big on his mind.

"Thor, what is it?" he asked after the muzzle was removed.

Thor grinned. "We're going to Midgard, Loki," he said simply, as if it was an everyday topic of conversation.

Loki's eyebrows shot up even further. "Are you mad? What would your parents say if—?"

"_Our_ parents have approved it. They feel it is time for you to prove yourself a worthy Asgardian once more. I requested to go to Midgard and take you with me." He put his hands on Loki's shoulders. "This is your chance, brother!" he insisted. "Are you excited?"

Loki wasn't sure what to think. "Thor, I know you mean well, but my place is here. My place will always be here. It would be foolishness to take me to the very place I meant to conquer."

Thor's grip on Loki's shoulders tightened. "That is proof enough that you are ready. The very fact that you would admit that shows me that you are capable of accompanying me."

Loki shook his head. Thor was too gullible. He could easily have been using his Silver Tongue to manipulate him. To Thor's credit, though, Loki was actually being sincere. No one else would have believed his words, but perhaps there was wisdom to Thor after all. "Very well. I suppose I will come with you, then."

Thor grinned. "We might need your magic to conceal our identities from the mortals."

"Leave it to me."

* * *

Thor took one end of the Tesseract, and Loki took the other. Before they knew it, they were on Midgard. Loki wore the usual suit and scarf, while Thor had jeans and a gray t-shirt.

"Where are we going—?" Loki asked. He realized just in time that he was about to say "brother."

"Jane told me that she wants to show me something amazing," Thor answered, flipping Mjolnir in his hand. His slightly disappointed gaze told Loki that he had not missed the near-moment where the god of mischief had almost addressed him as a brother again. "I would like you to meet her."

Loki was curious about the mortal woman that Thor spoke so much of. He knew Selvig, of course, by the unfortunate encounter the doctor had had with Loki's scepter. The one known as Jane Foster was still unknown to him.

"Thor!" A beautiful girl with long, light-colored hair and a pretty face rushed out to join them. She wasn't tall or powerful-looking. In fact, she seemed quite delicate. Her brown eyes were alight with happiness at the sight of the god of thunder, though her cheerful expression turned wary when she saw Loki. "Thor, isn't that your brother?"

Thor nodded. "Yes. I have brought him here to meet you. I'm sorry for not telling you first."

"No…problem," she said hesitantly. Green eyes locked with brown for several moments before the mortal turned away to face Thor again. "Not to question your judgment, but is this a good idea? There are still news reports out there that inquire about his whereabouts. What he did isn't exactly erased from everyone's minds on this planet."

"I appreciate your concern, Jane," Thor said, "but Loki here is under my watch. Nothing will happen between him and your world."

Jane smiled trustfully. Loki was shocked at how much they seemed to have faith in each other. "Okay, then." She held out a hand. "Hi, I'm Jane." Loki eyed her hand doubtfully and instead went with the usual respectful greeting that Asgardians used, in which he placed his hand over his heart and dipped his head. Jane, fascinated, copied him.

"All right, then," Thor said. "You told me you wanted to show me something."

Jane nodded. "Right." She gestured toward her vehicle. "I know I've driven Thor before, but are you comfortable with riding in a—?"

"No." Loki shook his head. "I am not riding in one of those things again." He had hated riding in the back of a truck, caught in a chase scene between S.H.I.E.L.D and himself.

"Come on, brother," Thor urged. "You're not going to let a small thing like a mortal vehicle get in your way, are you?"

Loki shook his head again. "Why don't we use the Tesseract to travel to this place?" he suggested.

Jane was suddenly excited. "We can go all over the country with that!" she exclaimed, her eyes on the Cosmic Cube.

"It's settled, then," Thor said with finality. "Where to first?"

* * *

"Where are we?" Thor asked. "What is this strange building? It looks like it has a lot of little buildings within it. What is the point of that?"

"It's a…mall?" Loki looked around skeptically.

Jane nodded. "You'll love it. It has everything!" She led them inside, talking eagerly. "I never get to do anything fun, what with the constant research and work that needs to get done."

"What is a mall?" Thor wondered.

"You'll find out soon enough, Thor," Loki said.

Jane took Thor's hand, smiling sweetly at him. He flashed a pearly-white grin in return. Loki refrained from rolling his eyes as they began walking. The god of thunder looked around in wonder. It was not as complex a place as Asgard by any means, but it was impressive for a Midgardian building.

"Oh, look!" Jane pointed at one store in particular. "Let's go there first. I've never seen one up close, and it's far too expensive for me to get anything there."

The two brothers and Jane approached a room with a large sign that said "Victoria's Secret."

Thor gazed at it in wonder. "Who is this Victoria and what is her secret?" he demanded.

"Women's clothing and beauty products," Loki explained. "Mostly undergarments."

"When did _you_ become the expert, Loki?" Jane asked, laughing.

Loki looked at her sarcastically and jerked his head toward the sign in the window. "50% Off all Women's Underwear" it said. Plus, there was a clear view of what was being sold in the store. "I do not need magic to see the displays," he said.

"Oh. Right. Let's _not_ go in there, then," Jane said, pulling Thor's arm. The Asgardian still stood where he was, the wheels turning in his mind. "Come on, Thor."

Thor blinked. "Right. So there _is_ no secret?"

"No, Thor, there isn't," Loki reassured him. "What else is here, pray tell?"

Jane gestured toward Rita's Italian Ice. "How about Rita's?" she suggested, leading the way. It was a nice little place that sold a variety of frozen custard and Italian ice and combinations of the two. "Now we just have to wait in line." She turned to Loki. "I know what you're thinking. Don't even _think_ about using magic to influence those people to move out of the way. You're both on Earth, disguised as Midgardians. Be sure to act like it."

Loki sighed. "As you wish."

When they finally got to the front, they each ordered vanilla frozen custard, suggested by Jane. She figured they should start simple and old-fashioned. "What do you think?" she asked when they'd finished.

"This custard; I like it," Thor said.

"Thor, don't—!" Jane began, but she could not stop him.

"ANOTHER!" He threw the cup down, drawing the attention of everyone around him. Loki made the classic _I-don't-know-him_ face and Jane facepalmed. "Who is this Rita?" he boomed. "I shall take her to Asgard where she will make frozen treats for me every day!"

"Rita's is the name of the—oh, never mind." Loki figured it was a lost cause.

"On that note," Jane said hastily, "let's move on." She led them to a place she had never seen before. "I'm…not sure what this is," she admitted. "Want to take a look inside?" The store was entitled "Spencer's."

They browsed around awhile until Thor came to an abrupt stop. "_Loki_!" he gasped, motioning for his brother to join him. "_Look_!" He pointed to a very strangely-shaped rainbow-colored lollypop. "The Midgardians actually _eat_ those? But…you don't touch those in public!" he gasped.

Loki looked utterly disgusted. "Can we go somewhere else, please?" His reaction was a bit more discreet. "Somewhere with less-repulsive products?"

"Sure," Jane said, inwardly horrified that she had led the Asgardians into this. "Let's go this way," she urged, taking them out of the mall. "How about that place?" She pointed to Gold's Gym. There was certainly nothing there that could disturb the brothers or initiate an outburst from Thor, right?

Upon entering the gym, Thor looked around at all the equipment. "I wonder who Gold is," he said. "He must be a very powerful warrior indeed. I shall challenge him to a fight!"

"Noooooo," Jane said as Loki facepalmed the same way that the mortal had done earlier. "Um…how about we get a drink at Sheetz?"

"They have drinks at a place called Sheetz?" Thor wondered.

"Yes. They have all kinds of things there," Jane replied, relieved that Thor was calming down. "Let's go."

They used the Tesseract to transport to Sheetz, careful to appear in a discreet spot. When Thor concealed the cube, they entered the building. Thor immediately looked around suspiciously. "I see no beds here! Is there a store called _Pillows_ too?" Jane and Loki exchanged amused, yet hopeless, glances. "I suppose that _Pillows_ does not sell pillows, either! Jane, why do the names deceive? On Asgard, everything is straightforward."

"On Asgard, we do not have shopping malls or gas stations or gyms," Loki pointed out.

"Yes, and in that sense, we are straightforward!"

"Thor…How about we go to Wal-Mart?" There couldn't _possibly_ be anything there that would set the god of thunder off there.

"Wal-Mart? Does it sell walls?" Thor wondered.

"No, Thor, it does not. Just grab the Tesseract. You'll see soon enough," Loki said impatiently. Though he did not know what Wal-Mart was, he could almost guarantee that it did not sell walls. The very fact that his adoptive brother would even _suggest_ that was disturbing.

They soon appeared in the Wal-Mart parking lot. As they walked toward the massive store, Thor spotted two strange little things hanging from the back of a truck. "What are those?" he asked.

Jane inwardly groaned. Did he _have_ to notice those? "Truck Nutz," she replied.

Thor gasped. "They're not _real_, are they?"

"Of course not," Jane sighed. "Let's just go into the store. This'll be our last stop." She loved Thor deeply, but his quirks were pretty annoying.

When they walked in, Thor said quietly, "This has _everything_."

"What is that?" Loki asked. There, lo and behold, were posters. The one that happened to be displayed in their lines of vision was of the Avengers. Loki walked straight up to it and he subconsciously shivered. "What is this witchcraft?" he demanded.

Thor was surprised, too. "How did they make a poster of us? We never even posed like that."

Jane shrugged. "You guys are well-known. Someone must have done some serious photo-editing."

"I do not like it," Loki said.

"You don't have to," Jane said.

They looked around for a while. Loki marveled at the technology available, though he found that it somewhat paled in comparison to his magic. He had to admit that he could not store information like a laptop could or take pictures like a camera, but were those things really necessary? Evidently they were to the Midgardians.

"Okay, I think we've done enough shopping for today," Jane said.

"I agree. It is time to return to Asgard. I'm sure the All-Father is awaiting our return," Thor said. They transported back to Jane's place, where Thor kissed her hand. "We shall meet again soon. Once I return, I expect to hear what Victoria's secret is."

Jane laughed. "Just go back to Asgard, Thor."

The brothers grabbed onto the Tesseract and departed into the sky, where they would share the experience with Sif, the Warriors Three, Queen Frigga, and Odin. Heimdall, of course, had probably seen the whole thing. Still, Loki wondered how those back home would react to Thor's inevitably bizarre recount of the day's events.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or any of the characters in it. I don't own Jane either. She's in Thor, not the Avengers, so I figured I'd be safe and do a disclaimer on her, too. I also don't own Victoria's Secret, Rita's Italian Ice, Spencer Gifts, Gold's Gym, Sheetz, Truck Nutz, or Wal-Mart.**

**AN: Well? What do you think? It's my first one-shot, so I hope I did well. AND I don't think I have to tell you what the lollypop resembled. If you haven't figured it out by now, PM me and I'll tell you. This is a T-rated fic, so I kept it clean. ;)**


End file.
